For the obstinate hoarder of old technologies, some guidelines that you might want to get a new machine.

These days it seems that as soon as you take your brand newcomputer out of its packaging, you are throwing it out as there is a newer, sleeker, sexier model.  There are however, still some very very old machines out there today and some exceptionally stubborn users who still insist that windows 95 is the height of technological evolution.

If you find yourself nodding along knowingly to any of the below, it’s time to treat yourself to a new machine.

You’re Still Waiting for It to Boot Up

Does this sound familiar? switching on your computer to load up, make a cup of tea, come back to your desk, read paper, make a second cup of tea, and then sit down to the starting screen of your computer. If you can do all this while your machine is loading up, then its time to buy a new one!

Your Computer Sounds like a Vacuum

Fans and cooling systems in modern machines are mercifully quiet. So if, as you turn on your computer, you are treated to the deafening howl of the whirring fans which could be likened to a Dyson hooked up to a megaphone, then it’s time to change machine.

Your Computer Has a Disk Drive

The most effective prortable data storage system on the market at the moment is the Flash drive. RAID data recovery is also an option for the larger storage needs. Your machine is probably part of a forgotten generation if it still has a disk drive.

There are No USB Ports

 Everything is USB-oriented these days. There was a time when your keyboard, mouse and external hard drive all had separate plugs – now everything has gravitated towards the USB port. If your machine is lacking USB slots, it’s too old.

You Have a Dot Matrix Printer

 Ah, the dot matrix – a classic of its time. Ribbon printers are now (thankfully) consigned to the annals of history though.

The Internet is Still on Dial-Up

 If you still need to dial into the Internet, thus rendering your phone permanently engaged, and creating a cacophonous sound that sounds like R2D2 was having an android hernia, then you need to upgrade to broadband. Seriously, do it for your eardrums if nothing else.

The Monitor is a CRT

Your Contacts Are Saved In an Access Database

 Remember the days before social networking, Gmail and Outlook organised all of your contacts for you? If you don’t, and you still have all of your contacts saved to a Microsoft Access database, then you are living in the technological past.

You’re Still Using DOS

The black screen of DOS was an infuriating system for the uninitiated. Having to memorise the commands to make DOS function was a test, a test which prompted furious and colourful cursing for those who could not remember if it was /C: or /D: that they needed to access SimCity. If you are still struggling with DOS now, then get Microsoft’s new package (or Google’s Chrome which comes out in the autumn), which does all that stuff for you.

A Tape Deck is Required to Load Anything

 OK, this one is only for exceptionally old users. The tape deck, God bless it, was a phenomenal piece of kit in its day, but thank the heavens technology has moved on from the Commodore 64. Still fiddling with this archaic technology? Then there really is very little hope for you.